Queer culture

[BrieflyBlue]

I don't want to get too controversial or anything here, but I'm genuinely curious. For the gay/Bi men out there (although a straight perspective would be good too), how much do you feel you can relate to the current queer cultural paradigm? Would you use the word queer to describe yourself? Personally I don't. This question grew out of a really interesting conversation I had with my boss yesterday (who, incidentally, is of the sapphic persuasion).

 

[engjock]

I’m a 100% gay, cum loving, cock sucking bottom and identity as such. I’m also of the generation that had the unpleasant experiences of having the word ‘queer’ used against us by every homophobe from whatever corner of society. That would often be accompanied by other derogatory terms for people like me - poof, brown-hatter, pansy, etc. etc. None of these totally negative connotations‘ words have ever been claimed by the whole male homosexual community and turned around to be a positive noun, in the same way as ‘gay’ has managed to do.
Why? The original definition of ‘gay‘ meant happy, joyful, lighthearted and carefree. It was also a subliminal two-fingers (or middle finger) up to the people who tried to make us feel bad about our sexuality.
So, in answer to your question BrieflyBlue, no, I can’t relate to a current queer paradigm that has been created by a younger gay/lesbian generation who, due to the accident (thankfully) of being born into a more tolerant society, have not been exposed to such every day slurs on the core of who you are. Having spent most of my life ashamed of who I am, but thanks to my friends my family who accepted me totally once I had come out, as well as my civil partner who helped me immeasurably, why would I want to identify with a word that I associate with such negativity?
Apologies to anyone who thinks I’ve overreacted, but it’s how I still react to that word.

 

[NudeSkyDude]

I’m a 100% gay, cum loving, cock sucking bottom and identity as such. I’m also of the generation that had the unpleasant experiences of having the word ‘queer’ used against us by every homophobe from whatever corner of society. That would often be accompanied by other derogatory terms for people like me - poof, brown-hatter, pansy, etc. etc. None of these totally negative connotations‘ words have ever been claimed by the whole male homosexual community and turned around to be a positive noun, in the same way as ‘gay’ has managed to do.
Why? The original definition of ‘gay‘ meant happy, joyful, lighthearted and carefree. It was also a subliminal two-fingers (or middle finger) up to the people who tried to make us feel bad about our sexuality.
So, in answer to your question BrieflyBlue, no, I can’t relate to a current queer paradigm that has been created by a younger gay/lesbian generation who, due to the accident (thankfully) of being born into a more tolerant society, have not been exposed to such every day slurs on the core of who you are. Having spent most of my life ashamed of who I am, but thanks to my friends my family who accepted me totally once I had come out, as well as my civil partner who helped me immeasurably, why would I want to identify with a word that I associate with such negativity?
Apologies to anyone who thinks I’ve overreacted, but it’s how I still react to that word.

Engjock, you have echoed my sentiments exactly! To my generation, "queer" was always used as a homophobic slur and had a very negative connotation. It implied that a person was abnormal and inferior. I, too, prefer the term "gay" to describe myself.

 

[teasedpdb]

I didn't find my bi side and start exploring until later in life and now moreso pan, as I find attraction in people and their parts with no care as to their labels. With that said, I do am not sure about being able to relate to the current queer community/culture. I believe I find pieces that fit and I understand, but also feel a disconnect. My self perception of this disconnect is that I am a mid-aged/older guy that is perceived as not part of their culture. It is too bad, I have met quite a few using that label that are wonderful people, and quite attractive in my eyes. No disrespect to @engjock, I understand your view, as I grew up straight in the anti-queer world, a large part of me not accepting/exploring until later. It is often a challenge for me to balance current usage of terminology that has changed over the years.

 

[engjock]

Engjock, you have echoed my sentiments exactly! To my generation, "queer" was always used as a homophobic slur and had a very negative connotation. It implied that a person was abnormal and inferior. I, too, prefer the term "gay" to describe myself.

Thanks for your validation, NudeSkyDude.
I also find it interesting that the Lesbian community is also starting to define itself as gay. A Lesbian couple I know, say that they’ve started to use it as an umbrella term for themselves as a defence against being told by Trans activists (who are almost exclusively Transwomen) that, because there is no such thing as Lesbianism, they are cannot be ‘lesbians’ but instead the obviously butch one is a closeted Transman. Her (his in Transspeak!) partner, because she doesn’t accept that she is really a confused heterosexual woman, is obviously gender queer.
Welcome to 1984’s ‘Newspeak’ way of thinking.

 

[engjock]

I didn't find my bi side and start exploring until later in life and now moreso pan, as I find attraction in people and their parts with no care as to their labels. With that said, I do am not sure about being able to relate to the current queer community/culture. I believe I find pieces that fit and I understand, but also feel a disconnect. My self perception of this disconnect is that I am a mid-aged/older guy that is perceived as not part of their culture. It is too bad, I have met quite a few using that label that are wonderful people, and quite attractive in my eyes. No disrespect to @engjock, I understand your view, as I grew up straight in the anti-queer world, a large part of me not accepting/exploring until later. It is often a challenge for me to balance current usage of terminology that has changed over the years.

No disrespect taken, @teasedpdb.